Parenting tip No.1

Husband and wife must share house chores and take care of children's needs.

I asked my male colleagues what were they doing after work. Some said they went to exercise. Some said they slept. Others simply relaxed and watched television. Unfortunately, I didn't get to ask female colleagues for their responses. That surprised me. The older generation's mentality is still very much alive these days. It's fair for the guys to relax if their partners didn't work. Having a dozen mouths to feed and the guy being the sole breadwinner, it's rightful for him to enjoy his free time. But I think, definitely not many girls out there who are not working these day, are they?

The Star's report on Going separate ways... after 50 caught my attention. It quoted Dr. Loy as saying

“For the husbands, think about what it is like for your wives, for them to have gone through all that they have ... try to see it from their point of view. If you’ve never managed the home before, try doing it for two weeks without any help. Think about all the years that you’ve lived together, and how much you value that in your life today."

Well said. Being a stay at home dad, I dragged the days when Wife went outstation for her work. Once, Darrien and I were left on our own (of course Wife asked for my permission first) and there's power shutdown, of all times. At around 6pm when not a single electrician was willing to have a look at the problem. The boy was shouting that he's about to defecate. While holding him and dashing towards bathroom, he left a trail of feces that I couldn't see as it's too dark. And I needed to call for friend for us to stay overnight at their place. And to prepare his milk powder and bottles. And his favourite blanket. And to ride the bike at night to friend's place... Phew..

Sorry, I'm off tangent. I mean, as we reached home after work, surely there are 1001 things left to be done at home. No, you say? Dinner to be prepared. Kids to be taken care while the other partner make the meal. Giving bath to young children is no laughing matter. Believe you me! Feeding a 2 or 3 year old child is no easy task, ok? Cleaning the mess after-feeding is just wife's or husband's job?

I do prepare simple meal. I'm not trying to brag myself. Simply, it's fair to do house chores together.

But Wife can easily whip a feast.

I can't possibly prepare Wife's Korean meal

I often hear Foochow people says "Nue li kian ah." or " Your child". Can't they say our child?

I hear husband or wife says " My parent never teach me how to do wor". Then, take some initiative. For example, preparing chrysanthemum tea. It's just a matter of 15 minutes to boil. As a first step being a good parent?

Chrysanthemum tea